


that's the spirit

by aubrey_writes



Category: The Umbrella Academy (TV)
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-04-22
Updated: 2019-04-22
Packaged: 2020-01-24 06:09:31
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,717
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18565510
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aubrey_writes/pseuds/aubrey_writes
Summary: a collection of short pieces about klaus and his ghost brother





	that's the spirit

They walk back into the academy, and none of them speak. 

It isn’t often that it is silent in the Hargreeves house. As children, they were terrified of their father, and that was more common. They would creep around the house, speaking in hushed tones, but as they grew older, they also grew bolder. They would raise their voices more, even as they lost things to talk about. Diego and Luther would fight. Ben and Klaus would laugh. Allison would sing from her room. It wasn’t that their father didn’t care, he just didn’t have as tight of a hold on them anymore. 

But the house was completely and utterly silent. 

None of them knew how they were going to tell Vanya. There was no way that their dad was going to do it himself, and they wouldn’t make their mom do it. It would be cruel to her. And yet, they were still children. They weren’t even able to process it themselves yet. They didn’t know if they were ever going to be able to. 

Klaus figured he would leave it to their Number One. That was his job, right? He always wanted to be the one to take care of things so badly, to always take the lead, that he might as well go ahead and take care of that for all of them. What Klaus actually needed was a joint. He left the rest of the group when they got to the house, not bothering to let any of them know where he was going. They could talk to Vanya together, if they wanted to. He didn’t want any part of it, to talk about Ben, to talk about.. What happened. 

It was horrible. That’s all they could say about it. 

Vanya would want more, she would want details, to know who was responsible, why it happened, and how, and Klaus couldn’t sit through that. He couldn’t scrape the image from the back of his eyeballs if he tried. Talking about it would only press that image down even harder. Luckily they didn’t say anything to him as he walked away, not even bothering to argue with them. How close they had been was obvious to even the more oblivious ones. They would have had to be complete idiots to know that this wouldn’t affect him. It was going to affect all of them, though. 

Klaus closed the door behind him the second he stepped into the room, not wanting to even hear parts of the conversation. He knew Vanya would be absolutely broken. She could hardly stand when insects died. This would end her, and he wanted to be selfish. He wanted to focus on his own devastating ending. With shaky hands, he grabbed for a joint, but he ached for something stronger. Later, when their father was sleeping, he would break into the liquor cabinet, but even that wasn’t doing it for him anymore. He wanted to be numb, to feel absolutely nothing, and weed and alcohol wasn’t going to get him there. He didn’t know what he needed, except to feel complete and utter absence. 

It wasn’t easy to get the joint lit up, grunting in frustration as he couldn’t get it to light, breath coming in and out in uneven shakes. He couldn’t even do this. He couldn’t save Ben, he couldn’t smoke weed, he couldn’t use his powers. He was completely and utterly useless, and his chest ached with the weight of it. 

Finally, finally it lit, and he quickly brought it to his lips, squeezing his eyes shut around the tears, breathing out smoke through a sob. He didn’t want to do this. He had kept from crying in front of the rest of his family, the shock of it weighing on him more than the sadness, from seeing his brother lying there dead, eyes lifeless. He didn’t think he was capable of feeling sadness then, because there was no way that that could have actually happened. The very idea of Ben being dead was so completely unthinkable. How could he be dead? He was their brother. 

“Klaus.” 

The sound of Ben’s voice made him spin around, a shocked look on his face, not even bothering to wipe away the tears that had made tracks down his face. His brother looked awful. There was a hole in his suit, torn through where the monsters had ripped their way out, and there was blood everywhere. He looked exactly how he did when he was laying down on the ground, every inch of him exactly the same, except his head was still on his body, attached in every way it hadn’t been. 

“Bennie,” Klaus gasped out, dropping the joint in surprise, before walking across the room in big strides, seemingly forgetting that there was no way that his brother could be alive, because here he was, standing in his room completely in tact, looking terrified, but completely alive in every way. And Klaus, he couldn’t have conjured him, there was no way. He didn’t know how to do that. He hadn’t even tried since he realized he could shut them up if he just medicated a little bit. So Ben, he had to be alive. There was no other explanation for why he was standing in his room. 

But when Klaus moved to throw his arms around his brother, to bury his face in his neck and tell him never to scare them like that again, he went stumbling through the air, arms swinging awkwardly as they wrapped around nothing. For a moment, he simply stood there, staring at the space where Ben should have been. He couldn’t bear to turn around, to see what would be waiting for him when he did so. The quiet, shaky breaths coming from behind him forced him to though. The sound of his brother in pain was more than he could handle, too much for him to ignore. 

“Klaus. Am I dead?” he whispered, face stricken, voice shaking about as much as his body did. Klaus didn’t have a good answer for that. What was he supposed to say? Yes. I saw it happen, I saw you lose control and then lose your head in every way imaginable, and I stared at your dead body until dad forced us to walk away, and that was all less than a day ago, but I can guarantee you that in thirty years I’ll be replaying that moment every time I close my eyes. 

Instead, Klaus stepped forward reaching up with shaky hands, trying to touch him in any way that he could. He couldn’t look him in the eye, instead stared at his body, at his hands, anywhere else but in his eyes. He was afraid of what he would see there. 

“Uh, yeah. I think you are,” he answered quietly, drawing another sob out of his brother, who scrambled forward desperately, reaching to grab Klaus’ hand, his arm, anything that he could grab onto. 

“No! Klaus, no! I’m not ready for this!” his voice was breaking in desperation, broken apart by sobs, until it was almost unrecognizable, “how could he do this to me! I’m just a kid! I didn’t.. I didn’t ever get to do anything that I wanted! I was supposed to see the world, to read every book I could and then write my own and-and-” Ben was hysterical. He was backing up from Klaus now, even as he tried to move forward and calm him down, to try to talk to him. But what do you say to your brother who died at seventeen? Who never got to live a real life? 

Ben collapsed to the ground against Klaus’ wall, curling up on his side as he sobbed, each one rattling his body harder than the one before. 

Klaus had never felt more useless in his entire life. He had to just sit back and watch the entire ordeal unfold. What else was he supposed to do? A seventeen year old, standing there seeing his brother who he had just watched die have a mental breakdown over the fact that he was dead in his bedroom. His dad would freak out on him if he could see him. He wasn’t using his abilities, instead, he was paralyzed by fear and shock, absolutely helpless to help him. 

Ben turned his teary eyed gaze on Klaus, looking as little as the day he figured out what his power was, coming to him and asking him why he could do these things. Why any of them could do any of this. Why their parents had given them up. Klaus felt as useless now as he did on that day. At the look though, Klaus sprung into action, suddenly moving from where he was standing to slide down the wall to sit next to Ben, though he kept his arms wrapped around himself, not reaching out as he would have if Ben had still been alive. It actually took a lot for him not to do that. The absence of any sort of warmth coming off of Ben made it easier, though. It helped to remind him that he was very much dead. 

“What am I supposed to do?” Ben whispered, his voice shaking. Klaus stayed silent at the question, staring down at his own shaking hands with a slight shrug. 

“I don’t normally know the ghosts that I talk to,” he said, before letting out a laugh, covering his face with his hands, “you’re just another one of them now. How did it get to this?” That seemed to set something off in Ben, the boy turning to face Klaus, attempting to reach out to him, hands falling straight through his limbs. 

“Klaus, don’t, please don’t shut me out, please don’t get high, I-I don’t know where I’ll go if you do that, what’ll happen to me-” 

“I’m not gonna do that! Christ.” Ben relaxed at that, nodding his head and leaning back against the wall. Another heavy silence fell over the both of them. The easy talk that they could normally fall back on was nowhere to be found, too shrouded by this new weight hanging over them. “They come back anyway, though. The same ones, I mean. Even after I get high, it depends.” 

“That doesn’t really help,” Ben said quietly, and Klaus sighed. He didn’t think that it would. He just honestly didn’t know what else to say to him. The same silence fell over them again, and Klaus wished he could have kept it that way, but he wasn’t really known as someone to keep his mouth shut for very long. 

“Do you remember it?” 

Ben tensed up next to him, wrapping his arms around his shoulders, staying very still for a moment. Klaus didn’t need an answer, but Ben gave him one anyway, nodding his head. Klaus looked away from him, running a hand over his face. Christ. No wonder the ghosts were so furious. If they could still feel the moment of their death, forced to relive it over and over for the rest of eternity.. He didn’t blame them for harassing the one person who might be able to help them. It wasn’t their fault they didn’t know he was completely useless. 

“Why me?” Ben asked suddenly, his eyes looking straight forward, unseeing, “I-I was always so good for dad. I never talked back to him, or to Luther. I tried to always do what he said, even when it was hard, even though I hated what I could do. Why am I the one that had to die?” Klaus forced himself to look over at Ben. Even though he knew he didn’t mean he wanted any of his others siblings to die, he couldn’t help but think the same thing. Klaus would gladly take his place. Ben had life ahead of him. If he had left, he would have had a chance at being a regular person. He could have gotten into college, met a girl, had a nice life. He was probably the only one who could put the past behind him in a meaningful way. Now all of that was taken away from him. 

Klaus didn’t have an answer, so he didn’t try to give one. 

There came a knock on the door a few moments later, and Klaus looked up, before looking back at Ben’s stricken face. It seemed like he had forgotten that there was anyone else in the house. 

“Don’t tell that I’m here, please,” he said hurriedly, which made Klaus look at him in surprise, a feeling of panic rising up within him, “please, don’t, I don’t even know what I’d say to them. I don’t want them thinking that I can’t move on. Just give me some time until I can figure things out.” Klaus nodded a bit hesitantly, before clearing his throat, feeling his body start to shake again slightly. Now this was a secret. Not only was he the only one who could see his dead brother, but he couldn’t even talk to anyone about it. 

“Come in,” Klaus called out weakly, knowing his voice was betraying him, but figuring whoever it was would think he sounded like that just from losing Ben. The door pushed open just a crack, before Diego stepped in, hovering halfway in and halfway out. He looked horrible, and it wasn’t often that he showed his emotions so openly. It was a little strange to look at. 

“Uh, we told Vanya. Sh-she didn’t take it well,” Diego said, as evenly as he could manage, and Klaus just nodded, not really sure what to say. It was clear that Diego wanted something else, through the way that he hovered in the doorway, gripping onto it so tight it look as if it might break, but he was reluctant to speak. 

“You know you can’t stand there forever, right. It’s nearly time for lights out,” Klaus tried to tease, but it fell flat on both of their ears, and he could practically feel Ben cringe next to him. When he glanced over, though, Ben was just staring at Diego, shakes rattling his body. He was staring so intently, as if trying to catch his attention, but too afraid to actually speak. Stuck between here and somewhere so far away. 

“Can you see him?” 

“What?” 

“B-B-Ben,” he forced out, lip wobbling slightly as he spoke the word, tightening his grip on the door even further, “is he h-here?” 

Klaus froze then, resisting the urge to look over at Ben. It would be a dead giveaway if he did, even if he answered to the contrary. Instead, he ignored the little noise that Ben made at the question, took a deep breath, and shook his head. He forced himself to school his face, but he knew that his sorrow was etched there. It went so much deeper than his brother even knew. 

“Okay,” Diego said quietly, but didn’t make any moves to leave, “do you care if I-” 

“Come in,” Klaus said immediately, pushing himself off the ground and moving to his bed. They were too old to be doing this anymore, but it didn’t really matter. Diego could sleep on the floor if he wanted, but neither of them wanted to be alone. Even if Diego wasn’t as close to Ben as he was, he still lost a brother today. They all did. 

“You want the floor or the bed?” Klaus asked as Diego stepped in, gently closing the door behind him. 

“Floor,” he answered immediately, before stealing a pillow and extra blanket from Klaus’ bed, nodding his head at him in thanks, and settling down. 

Klaus turned off the lamp next to his bed as he laid himself down, knowing that neither of them were going to sleep, but would at least pretend that they were going to. Klaus wouldn’t be sleeping for other reasons, the one of which that was still sitting on the floor, and that Klaus now couldn’t speak to without revealing their secret. 

“Get some rest, okay? I’ll be here when you wake up. I’m not going anywhere. Ever. I promise,” Ben said, sounding stronger than he had all night. 

And Klaus closed his eyes, and he believed him.


End file.
